It’s Sunday and I’ve just thoroughly cleaned my room (I do this every Sunday). It helps me clear my mind for the upcoming week. Now that I’ve gotten into the full swing of college, I’m trying to keep on top of meditating, keep my room clean, and go to bed early. I’ve noticed that I’m way more productive than I was last year, and I’m really happy about that. College is better than I expected (I love not having to wear a school uniform and having days where I only have one lesson on my timetable and I can come home early). It’s a way more relaxed atmosphere, and I’ve been feeling less anxious. It’s like I’m a different person now–I don’t float around, stuck in my daydreams anymore. I feel like I can make my daydreams a reality now. My mum has been saying that she’s proud of me. I clean her room and my sisters also, plus I’ve been studying a lot and I got an A on my most recent psychology class test. People always used to tell me that nothing is possible without hard work, and I think I finally understand that now.

Every night before I go to bed, I like to fit in some time to watch a few episodes of Workaholics–it’s my favourite show and watching it is something that I look forward to (Blake Anderson is the best). I’ve also been documenting a lot of thoughts on the notes app, in my phone. Here are a few:

07/09/2018: Note to self–don’t watch The Exorcist before an induction day at a new school, it’ll only make you more nervous.
12/09/2018: My class starts at 9:00 and it’s 8:14 and I’m going to the toilet and listening to “Santeria” by Sublime.
14/09/2018: Lady at the train station had short dark hair, a long black leather coat, and platform school style shoes. I told her that I liked her outfit. She was really happy.
17/09/2018: A creepy man walked past my seat on his way to getting off the train, and he stared and smiled at me and it intimidated me :(

I think taking the train to and from school is worse than actually being at school. It’s not that bad and I like the independence of travelling alone, but sometimes I’ll feel really sad when I see everyone stuck in their own worlds. The real world is weird: I feel like people don’t care about one another, and that thought makes me sad. It’s like everyone’s only interested in their personal gain.

Everyone’s competitive and I feel like I’m not even in the race, but I know I’m going to make it, and so will you.