My eyes would never reconstitute the love of light
I was alone
long before the atom and nothingness
long before recognizing him in the midst of the fury
before these beams passed
the sight tired.

You change my trajectory.
and deconstruct all hopes already built
bare my beliefs
and bring up another “I”
a someone who resides within me
long before the revelation
long before the light breaking through the darkness
and undone all memories
I’ve been with me since I was a child…
You smashed my first impressions.
of the world
all the characteristics that I carry in me
from the womb
stole my vitality before the hair turned gray
(I’m the opposite of who I was)
totally dazzled by the flashes.

Goodbye genius!
I am no longer the creative force that I judged
and this pain is so much more intense than a punch
in the face
than to have to separate from her
learn to walk and fall
discover that there are irreproachable failures
in the course of the seconds
in regards to my wishes…
as the bitterness of the disease
taking the taste of life
and I’m alone in the world
without someone waiting for me on the other side of the sidewalk
no good night
no weekends
no warm embraces
without dessert
or Christmas gifts
without anything, because I am a stranger
all memories are remnants
of another life
long before the necessary truths
long before the embarrassment of adolescence to adulthood
prior to the verb and the first particle
(I’m still the opposite of who I was)
popping up without asking.

By Mariana S.F., 26, São Paulo, Brasil