Keianna

The past month has been the slipperiest rainbow I’ve ever slid down. My colors haven’t yet faded from being out in the summer sun every day. No, I’m not in school. Yet.

I’ve been starting to think about it more and more since talking to professionals in the field I’d like to one day enter. They think it’ll be just the discipline I need. Not to mention a gold star sticker on my resume. You have to glitter to stand out nowadays.
High school felt like waking up in a cemetery every morning. Confused and surrounded by ghosts. I’m told that college feels more free but I’ve been lied to a lot in my life. I guess it’s not so out of pocket that I have trust issues.

I’d rather be out in the field. Someone else’s shadow until I’ve learned enough to have my own colors. Even holding a camera as practice makes me feel warm inside. Creativity steams to a boil then mellows out when I don’t use it as fast as I possibly can. I want to scream, “With what resources?” “With what motivation?”

Going nowhere fast has been the mood lately. Having too much food and no plate is a good way to describe it. Maybe no fork or knife might be a better way.

I would sit under the tree at USC with her forever if I could. My seven year old cousin is confused and a little angry. He suggests that we should just be happy with being best friends forever. He says the world might be too confused. I wish I could see what was going on in his brain.

She helps me calm down. Chews the food for me. I hope she knows that’s not her job. I have my own set of teeth. Crooked but they work. Hers are straight. She must have had braces as a kid.

Maybe the pot of gold at the end of this rainbow was being able to be myself even when she holds my heart. ♦