Let’s say you’ve written a script or outline, memorized it, practiced it a bunch, and you still feel like you’re talking more like a robot than a human being. Simply telling yourself “BE LESS NERVOUS” or “RELAX ALREADY” might not help your anxiety, but having a task will. Here are specific actions you can actually do during your talk, not just ways of being you’re supposed to suddenly inhabit.

1. Take a moment before you begin. As with memorizing the first few lines of your presentation, your first moments onstage are an opportunity to get comfortable. Walk slowly onstage (or to the front of the room, or wherever), with your head up and your shoulders back. Take a few seconds of silence, and make eye contact with your audience to hook them before speaking.

2. Go slooooow. When you’re nervous, every second can feel like an eternity. We tend to speed up to compensate for what we perceive as awkwardness, and to get the presentation over with. So if you’re having a hard time gauging your own speed, you can safely assume you’re going a little too fast. Shoot for slightly slower than what normally feels comfortable.

3. Don’t be afraid to pause. Know that you can always reset, not just for yourself, but for the audience. Use pauses to your advantage, whether that’s to let people ponder a question, to grab their attention, to remember your next point if you’ve forgotten it, or just to take a breath. As with pacing, a pause will feel longer and slower to you than it is to the audience.

4. In-ton-*AY*-tion. Changes in pitch can also catch the listener’s attention and help to stress your key points. Good news: this will come naturally as long as you’re thinking about the words you’re saying, as you’re saying them, and not thinking: “I need to MAKE sure I PUNCH up this sylLAbyle!”

5. Look at your audience. Don’t worry, you don’t actually have to make eye contact with anyone. Divide the crowd into three or four sections, and distribute your attention among each one, in no particular order. You can look at the tops of people’s heads, rather than directly meeting their gaze.

6. Use the space. If you’re physically tense, you might stay glued to one spot, but it will feel (and look) more natural if you move around a bit. If you have space around you, use it! You’ll be less conscious of every little movement your face makes and every syllable leaving your lips if you get some of the energy out through natural pacing. Nothing too drastic; think a bit of two-stepping. Then, standing still can be a way to recenter yourself and check in with your audience. Striking the balance here can be hard, so it’s a good one to practice in the mirror.

7. Use your hands. Another way of using your space. Illustrating your points with gestures will give people a visual, make you look and feel less stiff, and eradicate the “oh god, what do I do with my arms?” question.

8. Get the audience involved. This depends on the format of your speech, but for anxious public speakers, audience participation can be a godsend. If possible, consider having a few questions for the audience; e.g., “raise your hand if…” or “can anyone give me an example of…”-type questions. This gives you a chance to breathe, and it also keeps the dialogue between you and the audience open.

9. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable. Sometimes public speaking can feel like starring in a one-person show. Depending on the formality of the context, a touch of vulnerability can make your audience feel let in and can ease your own stress. You can acknowledge that public speaking is scary, that you’ve forgotten a part of your speech and have to consult your notes, or that something hasn’t gone as planned. When done well, this helps everyone in the room to relax.

Whew! I know that’s a lot to remember, so when you feel overwhelmed, focus on the core aim of the task at hand: you need to communicate a piece of information to other people. What’s the best way to tell them? Making it about that and not what you look/sound/smell like will have the wonderful effect of making you look/sound/smell more relaxed. Besides, the person scrutinizing you the most is you. No one is policing your every word or blunder. So, be free to have fun, and bring all the energy you’ve got (including the anxious kind)! You don’t have to be a different, less anxious type of person at all–just prepared, breathing, and trying to communicate. ♦