When I calculated it, I found that I only have a few school weeks left until the summer holidays (excluding end of year test weeks). It’s crazy to think about how fast this school year has went by. Next year, I will be in the oldest year in my school. I remember when I started secondary school and I was practically counting the days until I would leave and now I’m so close to finishing and I’m kind of scared to start college. I’m not saying that I miss the earlier years of high school because most of my life during that time was sad and uneventful, but I do wish that I took advantage of not having any responsibilities. What did I expect? Time doesn’t stop. It always passes and inevitably, I was going to reach the end of secondary school at some point.
In my head, I always envisioned that I would become someone well-known when I grow up. I never had a specific career idea because I liked so many things: cinematography, writing, making music. But now, as I grow older, I’m starting to face the reality of the fact that my dreams may not come true. It scares me to think that I may have to grow up and live as a normal member of society because I always thought I could be something more. I feel weird about growing out of laying on my bed, listening to Mac Demarco and eating cinnamon swirl pastries and being angry at the world. I know there will come a time when all of the problems that I have now won’t matter to me and I’ll reminisce on my teenage self as a sad young girl with no hope but a lot of faith.
But who says I can’t achieve my dreams? Well, I guess it’s society. Sometimes I feel like everyone is against me. Like it’s me against the world. I never really felt like I was a part of anything. I was always the outsider. Maybe that’s a reason for me to try hard and become who I want to be. Using writing as an example, I know my life dream will be complete if someone, somewhere in the world reads my writing and feels like someone understands how they feel.
I know I can’t give up, even though everyone around me is pushing me to. Anyone can achieve a dream, but it’s harder to achieve a dream when everyone’s against you. But I’m going to prove people wrong. Mac Demarco says, in his song “Dreams From Yesterday,” “Once a dream is finally put to bed, rest up sleepy head, might as well be dead.” I know Mac’s right. If I give up on my dreams, I’ll have nothing to live for. So I’m not giving up. ♦