Whooooa, I’m almost done being 17. There are so many things I haven’t accomplished and it’s really stressing me out! I feel this big rush of anxious energy flooding my life. I’m also just a little scared to be turning 18, which makes me feel stupid because birthdays are pretty arbitrary. March 12 will be just another day. According to my older friends, the U.S. Army calls you on your birthday and asks you to join, and isn’t Trump trying to increase the number of troops??? I’m so scared of war and fighting and destroying other countries y’know? I’m scared that my life is about to halt.
I’ve also been really stressed about college. I applied to California State University Long Beach, and even though I’m a California resident (we get priority), and I meet the eligibility index for the CSUs I’m so worried that I won’t get in. I’ve been spiraling a little. What will happen if none of the schools I applied to accept me? What’s gonna happen to me? What’s my mom gonna think? I really am looking forward to college, I’m actually excited about school for the first time in a long time because I know that I’ll be able to choose what I want to learn, which is really important to me. But what if I don’t make it? I don’t want my life to stop. I wish I could tell my younger self to do better academically so I could have a better sense of security now, but considering my ADHD I try not to blame myself too much for underperforming. I just know that I’ll really find my niche in college. I hope I get the opportunity to. ♦