We’re sitting in a diner off the side of the highway. It’s nearly 3 AM on the first night of the new year.
It’s ignorant to call 2016 a horrible year. Horrible things happened in 2016, but the concept of time is arbitrary and fluid, thus all of the horrible things that happened in 2016 year could’ve happened any year, or over the span of multiple years had time been construed differently way back in the day. (The concept of “way back in the day” is completely dependent upon the advent of time too. Wild.) In this way, I see the made-upness of the structures around me that feel so real and concrete, which allows me to understand the insignificance of my own existence. Temporarily, this soothes my worries over the state of the world. But I also have to live my existence, as does everyone else. And knowing that time has no effect on the state of things, and that it’s very likely things will continue to be horrible into 2017 is very sad.
But for right now, this existence is good. I’m satisfying my cravings with an omelet and fries, surrounded by people I love—two of whom love each other. Watching them love one another makes me feel the world is a kinder place. On TV, a Phillip Seymour Hoffman bank heist movie is playing, and I become so thankful that he once existed, and on film, too. Our waitress brings me another glass of water, becoming my favorite person in the entire world. Elana and I can’t stop giggling because she fell asleep in the diner’s bathroom for half an hour. She’s so silly.
I’m young and healthy, in that golden age where I remain unburdened by the adult responsibility of balancing my freedom. I’m so free. I’m so lucky.
I’m happy for another year. ♦