Thahabu

Oh my gosh! My presentation on the negative effects of imperialism went better than I thought it would. I was super nervous before we started, but once I introduced the topic the workshop ran smoothly. I definitely need to get more public speaking experience, but after stressing so much over it, I’m really happy I did it. A few of the panel members didn’t believe me when I told them it was my first time facilitating a workshop. I was flattered. Their part of the presentation was so informative and well done. I learned so much about imperialism and the dire situation it has put the Philippines in. I noticed that the other girl on the panel had a Mitski tattoo on her arm. We’re friends now, and made plans to attend a concert together.

My self-esteem is in a weird limbo. I flit between thinking I’m amazing and wondering if I should tone myself down. I originally planned to go to an anti-Trump rally on Inauguration Day, but I woke up feeling drained, empty, and worn out—as though my heart knew I wasn’t ready to confront the realities of such an awful day. I felt like protesting would have just make me cry, because I wish we didn’t have to. Instead, a friend asked me to come over for a girls’ day. We watched movies, and later that evening she asked to do my makeup, which inspired her to do a little photo shoot with me. I felt so young. Those moments were almost celestial. Trump didn’t matter in that timeframe. He didn’t exist in her house. The pictures came out beautifully. I made myself the home screen on my phone. ♦