Cammy

I’ve been drawing back from the social justice community for some time now. When I started this journey, I made it clear with myself that I need to live as authentically as possible. I’m not a negative person, but I used to be. I used to get so angry and worked up about every single thing that was racist or sexist or bigoted, and if I hadn’t discovered the spiritual books I did, I would have killed my liver (according to my reading, anger lives in your liver) and maybe given myself a heart attack with all the stress and anxiety I was feeling. I would maybe have driven my depression and anxiety so up the wall that I wouldn’t have been able to live with myself. Being told that anger is OK and valid and the driving force of change fucked with my gullible mind so much. I believed it so fully that I ruined many of the things that I loved and found myself with nothing—unhappy, and still angry. Yes, anger is important, but it’s not everything.

There’s a debate in the social justice community over who was the most influential leader, Martin Luther King Jr. or Malcolm X. Some people have trashed MLK for exercising non-violent resistance and speaking about love, and they place Malcolm X on a pedestal for taking no shit and being more militant. Although it doesn’t feel right when you’re being put down and retaliating can feel like the only way to go, I now realize the value in MLK’s words.

Spreading love and positivity blooms love and positivity. Lately, I have putting good things into the universe, and watching good things happen. At my core, I’m a naïve, idealistic Pisces. I tried to find myself through anger and found a version of myself I couldn’t live with. Life feels so much brighter now. I take time to slow down and appreciate the world around me. There are so many beautiful things, and I feel if people just stopped and looked at what the earth has to provide we could be so much happier. I understand that I had to go through that phase of negativity to come out on the other side, and I wish everyone the best of luck in finding their truth and being themselves and accepting everyone for who they are. ♦