My age is hindering me, and that fact has been on my mind for most of the month. I’m too young to make big decisions by myself but old enough to understand that I’m missing out on some cool experiences. On top of that my life just seems to be one inconvenience after the next—they range from minor to major but happen constantly. These two things have left me with a lingering feeling of dissatisfaction and sadness that I’ve been unable to shake.
I allow myself 10 minutes to get settled in when I get home from school before starting my homework, which doesn’t get finished until right before I have to go to bed. This leaves little time for the social activities I used to be able to enjoy. When we moved a couple cities away from school I didn’t think it would hurt my social life as much as it has. No one really likes driving to pick me up, and getting rides is always a problem. My sisters and I get along most of the time but because they are twins and there is an age gap of three years between us, they prefer each other’s company. There are tons of people in my house but I feel like I’m by myself all the time.
Last night, my best friend and I decided to see The Edge of Seventeen. Her mom picked me up and we did our usual routine of not really greeting each other until we were out of the car. As confidently as we could, we walked to the window and asked for two tickets. The employee responded with “Of course! Can I see a valid ID?” No you cannot, kind lady, because we are actual CHILDREN who don’t have the proper form of ID that would allow us to see an R-rated movie. Saddened, we decided to go get some food and figure out how to get tickets to the next showing. We got Chipotle, which I promptly dropped on the floor after a few bites because I’m a mess. Figuring there was no way we could get anyone to buy us tickets to the movie we wondered around the plaza. We bought matching hand sanitizers and CDs and enjoyed each other’s company.
When we finally got home, defeated and exhausted, I was welcomed by words of encouragement and love from my friends. It seems like they help me find the answers to every problem I have. While I still feel that small air of sadness around me, they help me forget about it for a little while. ♦