“Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.”

My greatest interest is learning. My favorite place to learn from is YouTube, where I watch videos about weird conspiracy theories. My favorite conspiracy theory concerns the Denver Airport, which a lot of people think was built by the New World Order. I don’t believe in the New World Order, but it’s kind of funny to pretend I do. Except sometimes, the evidence is so strong that I question whether it’s just irony guiding the hours I spend researching triangles.

My greatest talent is figuring out people’s ages. I think about years a lot. I know it’s just simple arithmetic, but I’m always thinking to myself, how old is someone born in 1986 right now? And the answer would be 30, unless they were born in December or late November, in which case they would be 29. But another person, let’s say they were born in 1945, well they would be 71, maybe still 70. It’s so interesting how time works. It’s different for everyone but it all works the same way.

The most important thing colleges should know about me is that I am not a millennial. I strongly dislike being called a millennial. (I don’t use the word hate because I have a personal conviction that it is a strong word.) Millennial has such a negative connotation—not that there’s anything actually wrong with millennials, I’m just not one. A millennial is someone who didn’t have social media until they were a young adult. I was on Facebook in fifth grade. Therefore my generation needs a different name. I’d suggest iGeneration, in the vein of the generation-defining television show, iCarly. Oh, did I mention that when I grow up I want to write for TV, or other some kind of career involving similar skills and carrying the same social stigma. That’s why I have to go to college, so I can do that.

I hope you liked my essay and now understand that I am a unique student with her own thoughts and ideas. Please accept me. Please. Thank you. ♦