Last week was slightly hazy. It’s getting to the stage where I don’t know what day it is and I wake up at 12 PM every day. It’s like time goes on forever and it will never end. However, I’m certainly not complaining. I love watching Malcolm in the Middle and making pasta for lunch. If someone asked me, “What would you do every day, for the rest of your life?” this is what I would choose.
I think I’ve finally passed the stage of staying in my room; it was isolating and overall, unhealthy for my body and mind. Hiding will never create a solution, only more negative energy. Instead of staying in my room, I apologized to my sister. We were talking again, until we got into another argument last night.
I don’t want to speak anymore. I just want to be silent and to stop shouting and arguing. I honestly think not talking will help me immensely. I’m not a hateful person, but I don’t realize how much I hurt people. My sister is my sister. She’s my blood, my heart, and my soul. And I hurt her.
I’m sick of having to look at myself in the mirror and I’m sick of being me. ♦