Ananda

The five stages of getting over being dumped:

1. Crying.
This is the immediate reaction to getting broken up with: A lot of crying, even if you weren’t that invested in the relationship. This stage can also involve eating more or less than usual, sleeping a lot, and crying dramatically into a tub of ice cream while you listen to Celine Dion.

2. Denial and bargaining.
This stage can manifest in different ways. You can deny that the breakup has happened and try to act like everything is normal i.e. someone did not just step on your heart. Or you can tell yourself that you really don’t care and you’re better off this way, even though you don’t truly believe that yet. It can also include messaging your now ex-significant other demanding to know WHYYYY!??? and insisting you can make it better.

3. ANGER.
This phase is probably the least annoying for the friends around you, and also feels like the healthiest for yourself. You question the loyalty of the ex, no matter your scenario. This is also when you start to blame your ex and forgive yourself for being the dumpee instead of the dumper.

4. Promiscuity.
This stage can be as active or as passive as you like—everyone is different. For some, this means sleep with or kissing someone new, or many new people. For others it means reinstalling all the dating apps and swiping through Tinder for days. Of course, some will just go online and look at pictures of Chris Hemsworth/Pine/Pratt.

5. Acceptance and moving on.
This is the stage that we all wait for impatiently. You understand your ex’s decision and accept that it’s not going to change. And then you move in with your life in whatever way you see fit. ♦