I’m working on a screenplay. Well, sort of; it’s more like I have a central plot for a movie, and dialogue and scenes appear in my head while I’m doing daily activities. I write them down in my iPhone notes. I don’t have a beginning or ending, but it’s going somewhere. I never understood people that say one is most creative when they’re in a dark place or dreadfully depressed. Ever since my mood got better I’ve been thinking up so many ideas for different art projects. Maybe because my renewed self-esteem gives me the confidence to feel like I can actually execute these new endeavors. The romanticization of depression has always irked me. Nothing creative or worthwhile comes out of me falling into the stale, dank world in my mind. But maybe it’s just different strategies for different people?
My self-care day from last week became two days. On Tuesday, I walked around town and got my nails done. The next day, I had a little pizza date with my friend Annabelle. This is probably what really lifted my spirits because even though she’s a newer friend, she’s the only pal who wasn’t talking at me with all her problems. She’s what people would call “chill” but times one hundred. It’s like she’s permanently relaxed and can’t help but spread that state of peace with everyone. Seriously, her vibe is infectious. We talked for so long that we almost forgot to eat our pizzas. When we finished she suggested that walk home slowly; we were in no rush, why not savor the cool night air and being outside in general? As we walked, we came across some swings and ran for them. We talked more about boys and unconventional relationships while we swung as high as the tree branches in front of us. I felt so young and light. All the worries I had about my other friends were quieted.
Even though it might not be “real,” Annabelle and I both somewhat believe in astrology. We think the position of the moon and stars can be the reason why certain events happen all at once. So it was a surreal moment when we began trekking up a hill toward home and saw the moon smack-center at the top of the hill. It was huge and beautiful, and seemed to get bigger as we walked higher. It looked like it could roll down and touch as at any moment. We childishly ran toward it as if it would somehow belong to us the closer we got. My stress with friends and other issues seemed minuscule. The moon was more pressing than me and my problems. I’m starting to believe there’s something bigger at play, something that makes people act similarly at specific times and in certain places. ♦