Fatma

I feel like I’m finally maturing and becoming somewhat responsible. I’ve realized that the only way I’ll become happier is by changing my attitude. I’m going to stop being so pessimistic because life is of great value and, sadly—from what I’ve seen in the recent displays of police violence—it can needlessly come to an end extremely quickly.

I have so many reasons to be happy and I’m tired of being ungrateful. I also want to start praying regularly because I feel as if my connection with God is slightly weaker and I’m not happy about that. I just want to get good grades in school and read a lot and watch New Girl, without always complaining about something.

I’m excited that the summer is finally here, so that I can recharge and go back to school in September with a fresh start on my attendance record and with a more positive attitude toward learning (I’m beginning to sound like one of my teachers). I love the warmth the sun gives me and the way my skin begins to glow into a darker shade. Sometimes, I feel like a chameleon with the way my skin colour changes depending on my surroundings. I feel that this is also how my personality traits work.

I still can’t stop thinking about the fact that I’m going to be in Year 10 (aka ninth grade). If I lived in the U.S., I would be a freshman. I’ve been contemplating dying my hair blonde. The only things stopping me are the price and the thought that it might not suit me. I always have the same type of craving to reinvent my “look” before the start of a new school year. I’m also thinking about getting contact lenses, too, but I want to try them out before I make a final decision. I wonder if it will change the way people treat me?

I have no doubt that the new school year will bring me times of annoyance, nor that I’ll have more anxiety attacks than I’ve had this year, but I know I’m there for one reason: to learn. ♦