I will be 14 tomorrow. I feel excited but slightly anxious. The thing I hate about my birthday is the expectation that I’ll change in some way. In actuality, I’m the same person with a different age. I’m listening to N.E.R.D right now. I like giving certain moments soundtracks so that when I go back to that memory in my head, I mix it with the songs I was listening to at the time. I’m wearing my evil eye bracelet to keep the evil spirits away and to resist all negative energy that could come my way. Tomorrow is going to be a good day, I can feel it.
It’s my birthday and I’ve had a pretty great weekend. I watched Austin Powers 3 and listened to the Justified album for the millionth time. I’m looking forward to my family taking me more seriously now that I’m getting older. I feel like age is a really weird thing; time doesn’t stop and we keep getting older as the seconds pass. One day, the never-ending weeks of school and the time I spend watching films on the weekends will be over. I know I’ll die one day, because everyone dies, but I feel like it’s really weird that I can be alive one day and dead the next. I also realize that it’s slightly abnormal for a 14-year-old to think such morbid thoughts on her birthday, so I’m going to stop overthinking things and accept that I’m getting older. Maybe watching episodes of Seinfeld will help me on this journey toward my death. ♦