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Issue 56: Fear Itself

It Sounded Better in My Head

In defense of logorrhea (aka word vomit).

Lauren Tepfer 04/06/2016
  • What’s the word for when you talk excessively and instantly regret everything you’ve just said?

  • It feels like all I do is worry about something I’ve said…two weeks ago, or two minutes ago. The words always sound better in my head.

  • This is pretty confusing and totally contradictory, considering I am so outspoken—I’m forever shooting off at the mouth. I LOVE TO TALK. I love talking about the things I’m passionate about, the things that make me laugh, the things I hate, and the things that make sad. I’m always opening up and revealing things about myself to honestly ANYONE who’ll listen.

  • It puts me in a pretty tough position and makes me feel like I’m pinning ME up against MYSELF. Partly I’m angry that I let myself open up to people who probably don’t care. Then again, I want to feel like I can freely express myself and not regret being open with others. It’s so frustrating to feel anxious about something that I have just done or said. I wish I could just SPEAK and not WORRY excessively about what people will think of me.

  • When I express this concern to others, their response is always: “If you’re so worried about saying something wrong or embarrassing why don’t you just STOP TALKING SO MUCH?!?!?” But don’t you see? I CAN’T.

  • Expressing myself through conversation is what sets me free and helps me feel like someone is listening (even if no one actually is).

  • The most annoyingly talkative and outspoken people can still be super sensitive and stressed out all of the time about what they say. IT’S HUMAN NATURE. IT’S ANXIETY! IT’S NATURAL.

  • I will continue to word vomit all of the time and continue to feel anxious and stressed out about what I’ve just said. I remind myself that this fear is normal and OK. I’m not always going to feel confident in my choice of speech. I may end up saying something embarrassing or something that I’ll regret, but who knows?

  • I’ll move on. I’ll forgive myself. I’ll learn from it. I’ll grow. I’ll speak my mind, even when I feel like I’m not on my own side. ♦

anxiety embarrassment regrets social anxiety vulnerability
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5 Comments

  • Cammy April 6th, 2016 2:22 PM

    these are so pretty I love that mirror SELFY

  • agnes420 April 6th, 2016 1:06 PM

    beautiful!! i love this

  • LaPalomaBlanca April 6th, 2016 2:10 PM

    I am the same except for the part about being outspoken. I BARELY EVER talk to anyone and when I do feel comfortable enough to talk to someone, words just never come out the way I want them to and I’m instantly filled with regret. Which then makes me want to talk even less… It’s a vicious cycle I’m trying to get out of. I’m trying to remind myself that the beauty of a natural conversarion is that it’s spontaneous and nothing will ever come out as planned.

  • ZoeM April 6th, 2016 6:57 PM

    I feel the exact same way! I’m super outgoing and talk way to much but I also regret a lot of what I’ve said. I can remember and still feel embarrassed about stupid things I said years ago.

  • Alabastrowa April 7th, 2016 2:46 AM

    Such a beautiful photographs! I love these softly colours (3. and 4. photo). Amazing!

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