Fatma

I am attached to Tyler, the Creator. Although it sounds extremely creepy, I can’t explain it any other way. Not only do I find his music extremely beautiful (my favorite song is “Find Your Wings”), I feel lost when I listen to him. He is in his 20s, sells beautiful clothes, makes great music, and is the person I’ve always wanted to be: spontaneous, fun, and cool.

I find myself constantly questioning my coolness. I am always asking my sister if my hair or clothes look cool. I feel disheartened to know that this is the way the world is conditioning me. I hate that I am always looking for reassurance. If I like something so much, I shouldn’t need people to tell me it looks good. Right?

Tyler, the Creator gives me power and confidence. He wrote this: ‘If you don’t have any confidence let me be your fucking confidence,” on his Facebook. As I read those words, my eyes welled up and I felt strangely emotional. I felt like they encapsulated the way I feel in school, and how I have a need for someone to be confident for me, because I am really bad at it. It made me wish I knew Tyler the Creator, or could at least speak to him. But even though we can’t interact with each other, at least we live on the same planet. I know that sounds weird, but thinking like that is somewhat comforting for me.

I’m not that special. There are probably a million other teenagers who feel the same way I do. There’s a girl like me in California and a boy like me in Sweden. There’s a boy like me in Turkey and a girl like me in Spain. Even though I don’t know these people, I can feel their energy. We should start a band one day, if I can ever find them. ♦