This photo set is a visual diary I created to represent the feelings of dishonesty and honesty I feel about my art. As a photographer and artist, I’ve spent lots and lots of my time specifically picking out images and only publishing the things I think are worthy. I’ve spent countless hours curating a seemingly “perfect” visual world for myself, and what I think my life’s moodboard should look like.
After reading a lot of interviews with my favorite photographers and artists, I’ve realized that this isn’t just something I do. As a visual artist, it is common to find yourself purposely picking out and highlighting only the colorful parts of your life. After I thought about this for a while, I felt like I was cheating and somehow deceiving my audience.
Why am I, and many others I look up to, only showcasing the parts of our lives that we think are beautiful? Does this make us liars or less of artists? It’s hard to find meaning in the negative, especially when I have trained myself to only register the good parts of my life as “art.”
I want to be as honest and true as I can. I sometimes believe that making my art as raw as possible will help me feel like less of a “liar.” Art isn’t something that is supposed to always be glamorous and feel-good.
Some of the best artists are those who strip themselves completely and find beauty in the negative times. Although, there are also well-received artists who choose not to share everything.
I’ve realized that curating and highlighting only the positive parts of my world does not make me a liar or a poser. I would like to work harder at opening up and eventually sharing more of the raw me, but I now know that something like this does not happen overnight.
It takes courage and audacity to feel comfortable enough to expose oneself. It is OK to stick around in your comfort zone for a while. As long as you publish pieces you are proud of, and stories you know to be true, it doesn’t matter whether or not you’re sharing every piece of yourself.
What we know to be “art” isn’t something that is always black and white. It is OK to be gray.
The more I write and photograph, the more I hope to understand the fundamentals and emotions that come along with being an artist.