I am set to go back to school at the opening of the school year, which will be June next year. I won’t be going back to my old Catholic university, nor will I be going to the fine arts college I wrote about some time ago. I’ve always wanted to study in another place, another city. Not that the general quality of education in my city is inferior, it’s just that I don’t think the universities in this city can provide the prime education that I want and need in the humanities. The setback, though, is that no one in my family embraces the idea of my having to move away to get a college education. Seeing as my options are limited, I decided that I will just go to a Jesuit university—yet another Catholic school. This frustrates me deeply because, MAN, I’ve had enough of Catholic schools, and the knowledge that I can’t technically do anything about it frustrates me even more.
The entire range of human emotion is running down my spine as I ruminate on entering academia again. It’s so terrifying, and it feels as though I have time-travelled or something—to see it all for the second time around. I can’t wait, though, to gaze at a whole new world of books, routines, and uniforms. Will it feel eerie? Will I feel the way a spirit travelling back to the corporeal world would?
The world can be too vexing and exhausting: Here I am, without a cent to my name, with big dreams and big, big plans. Here I am, raw with wild ideas, without anyone at the end of the tunnel beaming a light for my path. Will I ever find a way to make this all work?
God, I just wanna be unencumbered. ♦