Cammy

Break kinda slipped away from me, and now I’m stressing about cramming a week-long project into eight hours. I procrastinated a lot but I don’t really feel bad about it. It’s not cool to bank on how good my results usually are when I work under stress, but I heard someone say “pressure makes diamonds” recently and I can’t help but notice how true that is for me. Especially in English class, which is what this project is for. I mean, I completed my first essay for this class in two or three days and got one of the highest scores. I did a big-ish art project the period before it was due and got a perfect score. I did the analysis for a big group project in one night, which my teacher strongly advised us not to do, and my group got the second-highest score in class.

Now and then, I think back to this weekly ADHD course I attended—I was diagnosed in the beginning of the summer, and the course helped me learn how to manage it and be as functional as possible. The doctor-teacher asked if we procrastinate when doing work, and we all answered yes. Then he asked if our grades reflect that. Me and another kid said no. We said that the stress compels us to do our work, and that even though it’s last minute, we still get good scores in school. The doctor said that it wasn’t good, and that we shouldn’t rely on that. And I can see why. Sometimes, I worry that the rushed work that I do isn’t good enough. Especially in English, since my teacher thinks highly of me. Rushing tacks on stress and procrastination brings in one of the most tedious things for me: waiting. But I always do well on the things that count. Even though this approach might be bad, it works for me, and I’m cool with that. ♦