Alyson

The more time passes between the present and that first Friday in August (the last day of CSSSA) the more I am convinced that my month there was simply a dream. I hate how close this is to becoming a cliché, but it’s logical, considering the only other time, in the recent past, that I have been so close to fulfillment has been in my subconscious life.

In slow motion I am slipping. Developing the idea that the best month of my life was no more than a movie in my sleep is perhaps a good example of that. It’s hard to believe that a world that thrives completely on creativity and the arts exists unless you are living in it. It’s even harder to be happily creative once you have lived in it and are then sucked away from it (until next summer, I guess). Even god doesn’t kick people out of heaven, right?

I hate writing all sturm and drang, but I guess that’s what comes out because I can’t mention these thoughts anywhere else.

In good (well, better) news: This weekend I finished my first painting since CSSSA. There were three that were 75 percent done, and now there are just two. In this particular piece, the use of color theory is something I am particularly proud of. It’s something that I could have contracted only in that other world. I am going to keep painting so that I can keep remembering. ♦