Simone

Don’t be nervous. Stop telling yourself that he regrets ever going near you. He doesn’t. But he might if you keep being a neurotic, nervous prick.

Stop avoiding looking toward that side of the room because he’s sitting over there. Stop wondering if you look bad from his vantage point. You’re too hard on yourself. And if you do look bad, he shouldn’t care, and won’t, because it’s just his vantage point and no real reflection of you. He knows that, and you know that: Stop being an idiot.

Don’t spend your every moment in the halls worrying if you’ll pass him and if your voice will go high when you say “hi,” or if you’ll even say “hi” at all. Stop fretting that you will have to initiate the greeting yourself. Do allow yourself to pass him without saying anything, because sometimes, that just happens. It’s a hallway. It’s no indicator of his feelings or your feelings or anything really.

Stop thinking about him so damn much. Divert these passionate energies toward your school work and squat routines.

When you are ready, talk to him. He will be willing and only good things will come of it. First, you really need to calm down. Like a whole fucking lot. And you will, just with time.

Remind yourself all of these things, all of the time, until you actually begin to believe them. ♦