Simone

I’m falling short.

This past weekend it was one of my best friend’s birthdays. My other friend had planned a massive gathering at her house in honor of the event. I woke up at 11 AM, energized. I showered, and thought about doing homework, but didn’t. I stared at myself in the mirror for about 30 minutes. I watched people on BuzzFeed eat Vegemite. I imagined possible scenarios which could take place later in the evening. I soon remembered I had to go to my grandpa’s birthday dinner during the day, so I put on pants. Then I stared at myself some more, because I was looking good! LIFE was good.

And then around 1 PM, I started getting cramps. For some people, cramps are annoying, but manageable. For others, they are painful, but treatable. For me, they involve excessive crying, vomiting induced by the churning organs of my lower abdomen, and questioning God’s existence. Something so normal and standard for every person with a shedding uterus, is debilitating and detrimental for me. So, I missed my grandpa’s birthday dinner. Worse than my mother’s judgement of me ( she likely assumed I’d magnified my symptoms to miss out on “How is school?” and “Do you have a boyfriend yet?” questions from extended family), was that this dinner was taking place at an Americanized Asian-fusion all-you-can-eat buffet. This establishment is a literal description of my aesthetic, but over 90 miles away from my home. I don’t know when my next opportunity to eat Kung Pao chicken tenders on a skewer will arise.

I was left home alone where I slept for four hours, and cried every time I saw someone in a wedding dress on television, because love is BEAUTIFUL. My parents returned home; although my recovery was beginning, I still could not move from the fetal position without feeling the pain of one thousand knives being driven into my lower left side by Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson.

I missed the party, and funny moments, and seeing people I don’t usually see in school, but most importantly, the group photoshoots. As mentioned earlier, I’d spent half my day sleeping, so I didn’t get any homework done either. I decided to re-watch every movie available On Demand released in 2007, but after 20 minutes of Shrek the Third, I fell asleep again.

I woke up Sunday morning, and stared at my agenda, and saw nine archaically dictated federalist papers to translate and summarize into contemporary English, a thick Spanish script to memorize for a presentation Monday, e-mails to send, a lengthy bill on a boring economic topic to write, and more opportunities to miss. It’s 5 PM now. I fell short. ♦