I think about the nature of partnership a lot. Do people really have destined companions? If our reality is supposed to mirror Hollywood’s version of true love, then presently, it is harder than ever to find that kind of match. Think of all the faces we pass in daily life, walking around on this overpopulated planet. Think of all the left swipes on Tinder. Every deli employee, classmate, seat mate on public transportation, Facebook friend request. Each a potential soulmate. That is so daunting. It means that each person must actively search for true love, and harness its magical powers, themselves. And will I, a boy-crazy, slightly selfish, and perpetually distracted person, ever be content with monogamy, or willing to find it?
Nevertheless, my inexperience makes romantic melodramas all the more warm and optimistic; my intact heart yearns for greater fantasy.
I think of college, almost always. I have some idea of where I’d like to go: A school in a city I like, studying something I enjoy, maybe in Canada, or the UK, if I get adventurous. Thoughts of the application process aren’t frightening, or overwhelming, at least not yet. But after all, I have yet to be personally affected by SAT scores and steep tuition costs. I have yet to tirelessly sell myself in essays about my biggest struggles and favorite hobbies. I have yet to be truly rejected in life. I still believe my future to be limitless, in a childlike way.
I’m scared for a future in which these thoughts will no longer be stimuli for a walk with my dog, but unavoidable realities. ♦