Lilly

My therapist is kind. She lets me talk and talk and talk, only steering the conversation in a different direction when my words screech to a halt and I settle into a jumble of muttered so, yeahs. I don’t know if I’ll stay with her. She asks me a lot of questions about school and how that relates to my anxiety as if she thinks there’s something I’m not telling her. But by the end of today’s session I felt like I was just repeating myself. She might try a different approach next week. I’ve only had two hours with her so far, after all.

In back-to-school icebreaker games or in lieu of the generic “interesting fact about yourself,” I remember being asked the question: If you could say one thing and have the entire world hear you, what would it be? Sometimes it had “without repercussions” or something similar tacked on at the end. I’ve been thinking about that a lot lately. I still don’t know what my One Thing would be, but it’s been—well—therapeutic to be able to say whatever I want without repercussions. Even with the people I love, I’m constantly editing what I say before it pops out of my mouth. And in most cases that’s a good thing. But sometimes the voices I usually restrain need to be heard too. ♦