Let’s talk about sexual orientation, more specifically, mine.
Last weekend I went to Girlcon, the most amazing meetup of girls and non-binary people. I spoke on a panel about diary writing with three other girls and the Girlcon organiser Anna. I went with two friends who smiled at me from the audience. I spoke briefly to Maya Rose who was particularly lovely and interesting. After speaking, I was in the audience of a few other panels, one about women in literature, another about black feminism, and one about makeup. I was in the presence of such a diverse and wonderful group of people. My friend Jade and I took Rebecca to the train station as she had to get home but we returned for the last hour of Girlcon where we sat and listened to the conversations about sexual orientation that the other girls were having.
I’ve been aware of my attraction to girls since I was young, but I never knew if it was just me thinking girls were aesthetically attractive. Then I got older and I worried that maybe my attraction to girls was down to my being too casual and open to things. But now, as I’ve made more and more friends of different gender identities, and sexualities I have become more aware of myself. I don’t know if the coming out process and responses are the same when you’re bi as when a person is gay but over the last month or so I’ve been casually slipping into conversation with my friends and parents the possibility of having a girlfriend and everyone has been intensely awesome and casual.
My friend Ethan said, “Welcome to the club.”
Sophie told me, “Congratulations.”
My dad has asked me which girls I find attractive.
And my mum has taken to asking me whether I met any cute girls when I’ve been out.
Sadly, my grandparents who I saw the other day aren’t as casual when it comes to sexuality but I can’t blame them—they are old and Christian. They still use terms like “the homosexuals” and “the gays,” and refer to a person’s sexuality as though it is a negative part of their personality. But, hi guys! Your eldest granddaughter is bi. ♦