Ananda

Let’s talk about self harm. I’m sitting on the kitchen floor and all I want to do right now is slit my wrists and cut into my thighs. I haven’t self harmed, which in my case was cutting, in 232 days. I am proud of myself, this is the longest period of time I’ve gone without. And while I can say from experience to those of you who are also struggling, that it does get better, and it does get easier, there are still times where it would be so simple to go back to old habits. my scars have healed over time and I now have only one left that will probably stay with me forever. When I look at it, I do see pain and suffering, I see my own hardships and those of my loved ones. But I also see a mark of life and survival.

At this age we are so vulnerable to so many things, but most of all, to ourselves. We spend so much time trying to wrap ourselves away from the outside world that we forget the real battle is inside of us. And while it is yourself that you are fighting, I want you to look outside and know that you are not alone. I need both my hands to count how many of my friends have cut into their skin because that was the only way they knew how to cope with the pain they were constantly feeling. I’d need another pair of hands to count how many people in general I know who have done the same.

It’s easy for me to say this to you, it always has been. I would come home from a day of stopping my friends from painting their arms red and I would do exactly that to myself. There’s probably some irony in there somewhere.

My point is—if I have one—you are not alone, and you can stop this if you want to. I’m not saying it’s not going to be hard or that you won’t relapse over and over again, I know I did. The point is that you try, because that’s all that really matters anyway. ♦