Lilly

I’ve been out of school for almost a week and it’s just now hitting me that it’s true, I’m done; I have two whole months ahead of me to do as I please. It’s like I’ve been so wound up for so long that the spring in my gut won’t uncoil itself, won’t let me crawl out of the pit I was in during finals week. I slept in late almost every day this week and still ended up trudging through the day with exhaustion pulling at the circles around my eyes.

The past couple of days have been better, though. My best friend goes to a different school, but now that school’s out for both of us I finally have time to see her again. This week we bench pressed half the weight of our bodies at the gym and drank coffee out of mason jars at our hip local cafe and played board games at her kitchen table like we did when we were younger. In between I started a new journal and got my hands on four new books to read and turned in my first ever real-world job application to the town library. I’ve kept myself busy enough that my ability to concentrate is coming back, my eyes staying on pages instead of slipping off them, my attention focused on a full episode of a TV show without checking my phone every two minutes.

It’s still hard to get out of bed in the morning. It’s still hard to put on real clothes and venture out to face the day. But it’s easier than it was a week ago, and that’s reassuring. ♦