ROOKIE! FRIENDS! AND! FAMILY! SQUEEEEEEE. I’m not just this hyped because I’m drinking chocolate milk out of a juice box (milkbox?) (a minimalist nightclub) (whose insides would make me hate everything), but also ’cause this month we’re doing a bunch of events in celebration of Rookie Yearbooks One, Two, and Three!

We’ll do more signings in different cities once Yearbook Four is out in the fall, but this month, I’ll be reading from and signing books at these times and places:
5/18Books & Books in Coral Gables, FL
5/19Barnes & Noble in Madison, WI
5/20Barnes & Noble in Edina, MN
5/21Barnes & Noble in Boulder, CO
5/22Book People in Austin, TX
5/30BookCon in New York, NY (on a panel with Sophia Rossi, Ruby Karp, and Jamia Wilson, moderated by Akilah Hughes!)
5/31Vulture Festival in New York, NY (in convo with Amy Larocca and is it douchier to say “in conversation” or “in convo”)

Please come and say hello and bask in a bookstore full of youthful enthusiasm, support, and silent farts (mine)! And hashtag that biz #RookieYearbookThree, if you are so inclined. We’ll be doing a bunch more in the fall, when Rookie Yearbook Four comes out—that’s right—on October 20! Ohh, the suspense. Look at this Powerpuff Girl party of a book cover, gorgeously designed by collage queen Sonja:

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Now, May’s theme is FORCE OF NATURE. Thank you to Maggie for thinking of it and to Eleanor for providing ideas that were a starting point for fleshing it out! This is a month where the idea of being part of something larger than yourself meets the idea of self-love; where the comfort of being unimportant to the universe can make you feel like a powerful little force of nature yourself. Think/feel tiny stars in a vast sky and anthemic lullabies and, like I said when we were all brainstorming, “This month isn’t really HIPPIE so much as it’s like POWERFUL NATURE GODDESS FLOATING THROUGH A CONFETTI SKY CELEBRATING HERSELF AND HER SISTERS.” (You know that reference? That reference to that thing that doesn’t exist?) Here is another bad idea I had for this month that nobody wanted to make but which I will not allow to perish in the bowels of my outbox:

“IN DEFENSE OF NOT CARING ABOUT CUTE PICTURES OF ANIMALS.” This is a formal request for a comic/taxonomy of total sociopaths who LOVED animals and it DIDN’T MEAN SHIT or maybe even meant they were dissociated from human sympathy, e.g., The Sopranos pilot where Tony kills people mercilessly and then cries because the ducks in their backyard pool flew away!!!!!

As always, if you or someone you know would like to assuage my guilt over my chronic immunity towards panda .gifs, or have a less stupid idea for Force of Nature, please send it to [email protected]. And as always always always, thank you for being here.