This past week was spring break, a time when youths, unburdened by academic pressures, make uninformed and potentially dangerous decisions for a week straight, whether limited to their suburban surroundings, or traveling abroad. I was no exception.

1. I found out there is no q in the word barbecue.

2. On 4/21, my friend woke up to this text from his mother: “Last night you were completely disoriented, you were eating chips in bed with all of your clothes on, you left your keys in the door, and the fridge was wide open.” Although I found it funny, after a while, it made me sad. Very often I do these things simultaneously and while completely sober.

3. I got tickets to see Mac DeMarco in August. This, in addition to his possibly real email address, which I obtained from a mailing list at a record store, and my friendship with his mother on Facebook, is a monumental achievement. I’m so proud, it doesn’t even feel creepy.

4. I ate at Buffalo Wild Wings for the first time in my life. I don’t know how it was possible, but I was underwhelmed.

5. I came to the realization that one day, the memories of my friends’ obnoxious car renditions of Fetty Wap’s “Trap Queen” will be deeply cherished.

6. I proudly hid a grand total of six (!) photos of myself from my Facebook timeline. I think I may just ban people from uploading pictures of me altogether.

7. I stood on a street corner in a particularly seedy neighborhood waiting for my lost father to locate me, and give me a ride home. One person mistook me for a sex worker. Said person was extremely persistent and continued to circle around the block and honk at me after my initial confused wave, and subsequent cold shoulder. Deeply shook, I finally got into the car with my dad. 20 minutes away from home, 15 minutes late for a babysitting job, and our muffler broke. This may have been karma for all the times I went to bed without washing my face. As if the acne wasn’t enough.

8. I cried when I read that Lance Bass predicted that Harry will be the next to leave One Direction. Then, I cried again because I was angry with myself for allowing that to make me cry.

9. I didn’t attend a single party.

10. I didn’t do any of my homework.

It was a good spring break. ♦