Rookie » April 22, 2015

Lilly

“It’s not broken,” were the first words out of the physician’s mouth as she came in with my x-ray results. This encouraging statement was followed by an explanation that I had badly sprained my ankle and would need to wear an air cast for a week or two, because I just can’t catch a break when it comes to injuries, can I?

At soccer practice I usually love drills that pit us against each other one on one. I have a knack for nutmegging people—playing the ball between opponents’ feet to get past them—and enough explosive power to beat them in a sprint on the other side. One moment I was dribbling the ball towards my teammate, patiently reeling them in, waiting for them to try to steal the ball. Then I was mid-move, feinting to one side and darting to the other, when my ankle gave out spectacularly and I went down in a heap. I spent about five seconds trying to get up again, caught up in the adrenaline of the moment, before I realized it just wasn’t happening.

No amount of ice or ibuprofen could have stopped that ankle from swelling like it did. For the past few days I’ve been hobbling around feeling like I have nothing but a massive, club-like bruise at the end of my leg. It seems almost ridiculous that I could have gotten injured again so soon—I just went through months of physical therapy for my hip and hamstring, just got over my nasty cold. Don’t I deserve a few peaceful weeks of simply being able to play at full strength?

In soccer, jokes get thrown around about “ankle-breaking skill,” any kind of move or trick that spins defenders so off balance that they topple to the ground. Somehow I managed to break the wrong ankle. It’s just my luck. ♦

6 Comments

bestmeghanever April 23rd, 2015 8:12 PM
It’s so true and sad that there was only a brief period of our lives where we didn’t care about our bodies or our looks. I don’t think anyone I know is perfectly happy with their bodies. They’re all going on diets and eating gross salad and working out (or at least thinking they are). They’re all talking about how they either have fat thighs or want calf muscles or abs or feel as if they’re too skinny. I don’t understand why we can’t all care as much as we did when we were 5.

-M
Zoe April 24th, 2015 3:04 AM
Simone, your entry meant a lot to me. Especially the bit about not remembering a time where you weren’t self conscious about your appearance. I’ve hated my body, called myself fat, and tried to diet since I was seven years old. I don’t even remember what it’s like to wear a swimming costume and not think about people looking at me. Or to eat and not feel guilty. Thank you for putting that all into words so eloquently.
- Simone Rembert April 27th, 2015 8:01 PM
  Thank you so much Zoe, that means a lot. Those are feelings that sadly, a very large amount of people experience. I’m glad you think I dictated it well.
thatcollegegurl24 April 26th, 2015 5:52 AM
These past few months have been weird for me. I recently stopped playing competitively in a sport that I have been playing for six years. Because of this, I gained weight. My clothes became tighter and some even don’t fit anymore, but this doesn’t make me less happy. I also have learned to accept my body these past years, Simone, but it seems like some people just love body-shaming and sadly, that includes my mom. I know how to just smile, and say ‘okay’ when someone says I got fatter. But, it’s hard when someone you know–someone who gave birth to you and who’s supposed to accept you no matter what–constantly nags you about your appearance.

I hope I learn to be as strong as you, Simone.
- Simone Rembert April 27th, 2015 7:59 PM
  Sorry for such a late response, but I can definitely relate. I’ve noticed that adults can make uncalled for comments about weight and changing bodies. What reassures me is knowing that they grew up in a time when body image wasn’t such a sensitive and widespread issue. While mass media’s been capitalizing on the physical insecurity of humans for nearly the entirety of its existence, these days it’s very hard to escape those messages. For younger people, it’s been like this our entire lives.
  
  I’m sure your mother means well, maybe she’s even insecure herself, so don’t let it get to you. I know that’s much easier said than done, but you seem like a pretty strong person yourself.
ruthietheriveter May 16th, 2015 8:47 PM
I feel like I’ve finally found someone I can relate to, because I am someone who struggles with body image issues, much to my feminist chagrin.

April 22, 2015

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