Britney

I keep waking up late for school and missing classes, which has never happened to me before (except once during freshman year, but never all in a row like this). I can now add throwing away my potential to the list of reasons to be disappointed in myself. I forget things, don’t memorize enough information for tests, cannot answer questions.

Strands of my hair are constantly coming out, either on their own or because I am tugging at them, which I have been doing for years. My mother tells me not to do it, even though I keep telling her I can’t stop and should probably go see someone about it. There are patches of hair on the sides of my head and the base of my skull; I can’t even wear a simple ponytail anymore without revealing them. It’s embarrassing. I hate that, with all that’s going on inside me, I can’t even find solace in looking OK on the outside. I always feel anxious about how I look. I really hate it.

I need to see a therapist. This is nothing new. I’ve wanted to for years, since middle school, since I knew something was wrong, yet here I am. It’s yet another thing I can’t bring up. ♦