I feel like this is going to make some real waves in Slurpee…Innovation…Science. Which is definitely a real thing. I think you can major in that in college? So: In what ways are you and Nick most alike and most opposite?

We have this odd sense of humor where we’ll laugh at really dark things, but also really stupid things. Today, we spent a good minute…I was trying to say “banana” with fries in my mouth, so we spent a minute just messing up the word banana more and more. The first one was like, “brrnehhnrrrr,” and then we just started screaming.

That’s awesome. Has it been hard to not be in the same school as Nick?

It was hard, but it helped me, because I know he’s always on the other end of the line if I need him, but it also forced me to make new friends and talk to new people.

When I’m far away from close friends, it’s nice to have someone who’s not immediately THERE in the situation that I can tell things to objectively.

YEAH. Definitely!

How often do you guys get to see each other now?

There are periods when we get to see each other a lot, and then dry spells. Maybe once a month, on average.

What do you guys do when you hang out?

Wander around town. We mostly just look for food. One time, we went on a picnic. That was cool. It was us and our mutual friend that we like to talk about feminism with, and this guy who asked me out at the picnic. Nick was so confused! He had no idea what was going on, and…yeah. He took it like a champ.

What makes Nick stand out to you in a really special way?

He’s not very self-conscious. He’ll meet a new person and just be his odd self. But even when he’s known a person, I feel like he’s always looking for the good in other people without being a super peppy “MWREEHH!” kind of person, which I really admire about him. He’s just always very nice to people. If somebody’s talking trash about some other person, he’ll be like, “Well, this person has done this good thing, and they were nice to you that time.

What’s an inside joke that I can say that’ll make Nick laugh or be like, “Oh my god, I can’t believe Perah told you that?”

The creation of inside jokes takes a lot of repetition to establish, and not seeing each other every day…I’m making hand gestures right now, because I’m not sure what word to use, but I’m making, like, a downward slope. But one that we’ve had almost since we first met is that I’m his mom. I don’t remember how it happened, but he is my child and I am his mother. I don’t remember how it happened. We just greet each other sometimes as “chaaald,” spelled C-H-A-L-D, and “maaahm!”

CHAAAALD. Am I doing it right?

Perfect! Just a liiiittle louder and squeakier.

You’re a good teacher! Do you have any other nicknames for each other?

He likes to call people “buttmunch” sometimes. It’s an insult for someone that you wouldn’t actually insult. Like, if I stepped on his shoe or something, he’d be like, “YOU BUTTMUNCH, YOU.”

I like it. Before I go call Nick, is there anything else I should know?

His cheeks are really squishy and soft! [both laugh] His face cheeks! There was a period of time when everyone was squishing his cheeks all the time. I think he secretly hated it, so I restrained myself. People on the internet aren’t going to get the opportunity to squish his cheeks, so they can imagine it, like me. Oh! And can you tell him I said “Gandhi?” Because there was this one time—he used to claim he never cried, but apparently, at a movie night with our friends, he cried like a baby! [Laughs]

On it!

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

ROOKIE: Hey, Nick! Perah had nothing but nice things to say about you.

NICK: Well, that’s awesome, because she is, like, the best.

The first thing I’m supposed to say to you without ANY explanation is the name “Gandhi.”

WOW. She brought that up! The Gandhi Incident! Wow. [Laughs] A few months ago, my friends and I were having a sleepover, and we decided to watch the movie Gandhi. Things got pretty…intense. But it was OK! We’re all better friends for it. I was jumping all over my friends. It was kind of weird, but it was all right. I was feeling such strong vibes from the powerful leadership of Gandhi. The beginning of the movie, with crowds of people worshipping this guy, and then he gets shot…what am I supposed to do? It’s sad! He’s such a cool guy! It hurt even more after watching the movie and seeing WHY he was so loved!!

I’m with you, Nick. Can you remember what meeting Perah was like?

It didn’t seem amazing at first! I was just like, “What’s up, guys,” to her and her three friends. I had normal beginning-of-the-year-jitters—you know, making new friends and stuff. Nothing too stand-out-ish.

She said the second time you hung out, there was a click.

Yeah! That’s when our friends and I started making this whole “family” thing. We all decided we were related in some way, and I was like, “Perah, you should be the mom!” She was like, “I am TOTALLY the mom.” I thought, Whoa. This girl is OK with being the mom? I thought that was kind of cool. Then I was like, All right, maybe we can hang out more, because, you know, she’s my mom.

And you are the [croaks horrifically] CHAAAALD?

WHAT?

[Tries again, inadvertently makes it even worse] CHAAAARLD?

HOW? WHAT?!

I’m not good at this!! Perah was trying to teach me how you guys—

OH! CHAAALD! OK! Yes! And she’s maaaahm! Yes, of course! It’s so weird hearing it from the lips of someone that’s not my mom. She does it pretty well, so! She’s good at mahm-thering…that’s not a word…MOTHERING me. In my contacts, she’s just “Mahm.” She teaches me a lot.