Everything is changing, yet so much is the same. The year progresses and the same judgmental people stay just as judgmental; my need to live in a different time—a time when I know would be happier—persists; and asking for help remains just as difficult for me as ever. I still don’t know how to express myself in the ways that I want to.

I feel suspended in a state of inner chaos. I wish I didn’t have to depend on outside sources to feel content with myself and my life, but that is the way it is, and I don’t know what to do. There is no eloquent way to put it; I just don’t know. ♦