When it comes to having a crush on someone, I take being awkward to a whole new level. It’s even worse when my friends try to bring the two of us together, which is what happened this week.

I hadn’t seen my crush in a long time, because we don’t have any classes together, so when he came up to me and my friend in the hallway, I honestly didn’t know what to do. This seems to be a recurring problem. He exchanged a few jokes with us, and I responded to each one in a horrible, monotone voice. The whole time I was thinking: Oh my gosh what is happening why can’t I talk like a normal person he must think I’m so lame oh my gosh what is wrong with me he’s looking right at me his smile is so great what do I dooooo. I felt like a robot the entire time, and when we parted ways, I couldn’t have been more relieved.

But that wasn’t the last of my encounters with extreme awkwardness. I have to interview someone from my school’s media program for the yearbook. My crush just so happens to be in that program. I had told my friends a while ago that I was thinking of interviewing him, but then I dropped the idea because obviously I wouldn’t be able to talk to him. But my friends insisted on dragging him over to our lunch table anyway so I could conduct my interview. I ran and hid at another table.

Then it got worse: my friends started looking for me. Another classmate, who knew why I was hiding, starting yelling at my friends. My crush found a way to slip away quietly amid this chaos. He was probably mortified.

I’m angry at my friends for bringing him to our table, but I’m also angry at myself for not being able to talk to him. Why can’t I just look at him and ask a few simple questions? Why is that so hard? Last year I could talk to this guy just fine. Then again, last year I didn’t like him this way. ♦