Chris M.

Warning: this entry is based on a segment from my actual diary. It’s not, however, full of boy drama and stickers and stuff. Sorry.

March 8, 2012

Dear Diary,

Today we had a pep rally. It started out with two girls singing the national anthem. One of the girls was pretty good. The other was OK. Everyone cheered wildly and flailed their blue items around in admiration. (Blue is our school color.)

A teacher got up and started giving everyone a talk about how awesome it was that we could all come together or something. I wasn’t really listening. He was incredibly boring and just giving the standard “YOU’RE ALL AWESOME, AND IT’S THANKS TO YOUR WONDERFUL SCHOOL!” speech. He ended up saying the names of everyone on the basketball team, leaving time for applause in between each name. Naturally, some people got more than others. What is this, a popularity contest? (Yes.)

I was standing behind the bleachers with my friend Simon. We just sat there talking about how stupid it all was. You can’t blame us—it was super cheesy, with everyone getting so excited about kids they saw every day. There wasn’t even a specific event for us to get “pepped” for. Based on our school’s attitude towards excitedness in general, I’m surprised we don’t have “calming rallies.” We can’t run in the halls or talk during study period or be loud inside, but then they try to force us to make noise and go crazy over something so unimportant? What?!

A few girls came out with blue eyeliner to draw eye black (blue?) on the players’ faces. Everyone in the bleachers yelled in appreciation. It kind of baffled me. It’s not like they’re preparing for battle. Everyone needs to calm down. It annoys me when people take things like this so seriously, but then can easily brush off serious issues.

Then came the main event! The student-versus-teacher basketball game! It was a huge deal. People were really getting really into it, screaming at the players like their lives depended on it. The commentators were two guys I kinda know, and Simon and I went to go say hi. When they ignored us, we went out into the hallway to stealthily creep along walls like ninjas, ducking behind trashcans and open doors until we followed a girl to the end of the school without her noticing. Then we just sort of talked for a while.

Simon is so great. How many people can you sneak out of a pep rally to ninja around with? Very few, let me tell you. Last week, when we were at a choir concert that he was in, he introduced me to a girl as his “biffle.” She just gave a snotty look and walked away. She was probably jealous that he can effectively use the word “biffle.” I think he’s an actual friend—not just someone I think is nice, but someone I really enjoy being with. Yay for friends. They exist.

Then, thanks to our pleas, we were finally allowed to give some commentary after halftime, and we made it really funny. We pretended that it was a dog show at first and then acted like we didn’t understand basketball at all, calling strikes and touchdowns and stuff. Jimmy* said we were annoying and kicked us off. Oh, I’m sorry if we didn’t seem genius compared to the AIDS jokes you and your buddies were making 10 minutes ago. Whatever. The crowd liked us.

Also, tomorrow is spring break! Megan and I are going to Neighbor Boy Evan’s* house. Someone told me that I’m leading him on by hanging out with him. Blargh. Everything revolves around love or dating or whatever. Why can’t we be friends?

[Proceeds to draw a picture of Leslie Burke from Bridge to Terabithia.] ♦

* These names have been changed.