This week is going to be the worst. Everything is the worst. That’s becoming a catchphrase of mine that I’m convinced will TOTALLY CATCH ON WITH EVERYONE I KNOW AND TALK TO. So, like, 10 people.

For one week every year, we have all these speakers come to our school and talk to us about our spirituality in really vague ways. One year we had a former member of the Mafia come to speak to us and he got arrested sometime after. He wrapped up his speech to us by saying, “Don’t do what I did, kiddos!” That was kind of interesting. Anyways, all week long, all our teachers will talk about how great it is to get to go to a school where we get all of these people to speak to us, and we’ll all just feel like, Hey, thanks for the commercial for the school, but we already go here. Also, I’m really afraid that they’re going to have a “get in touch with your feelings” session like sometimes happens in chapel, where they’re all like, “Take five minutes to peer inside your soul.” What if I don’t have feelings? Huh? How does that make you FEEEEEEEEEL?

I mean, I totally have feelings, just not in a school-speaker type of way. The other week, I spent maybe an hour in a hotel room in Paris (totally my BFF city now—the long-distance thing is kinda tricky though) crying to one of my friends about EVERYTHING (all of which I hate). She ended up giving me really good advice, but I didn’t take it because it involved some amount of bravery. Which I have none of, but want some of, because everyone wants to be in Gryffindor but I’m such a Hufflepuff that it isn’t even funny. All this to say that I’ve been super not OK lately. It’s private stuff—friend drama, etc. I had a dramatic breakdown in French class the other day. My French teacher ended up being concerned enough to send me an email about it. I haven’t responded to the email yet because it stresses me out. And that stresses me out.

Also, this is going to be a terrible terrible week because I’m really stupid. We have a Sadie Hawkins dance thing coming up and I asked someone I don’t really know at all and it was SUPER UNCOMFORTABLE. I made him some brownies and was planning on getting to school early and asking him by putting them in his locker along with a short note or something. INSTEAD, I got to school late and didn’t see the kid until the last class change of the day. Instead of being super suave (as I usually am), I just ran up to this kid and was all, “HI DO YOU HAVE A DATE TO SADIE HAWKINS I MADE BROWNIES OK.” Just like that. I think I looked a bit crazed. But for some reason he still said yes. Then I had to go to band and I didn’t see him again for THREE DAYS. Which was weird. And when I did, I accidentally talked about nose picking. This kid is in for an uncomfortable night this Saturday and I apologize in advance. Also, someone told me that this dude really hates school dances right after I asked.

In conclusion: I hate everything. ♦