today feels so much like January.
here,
the sky offers,
here is the unshakeable cold
that comes with another promise that you will try
to be born again.
here, my palm offers, here is my heart.
i can’t hold on much longer.
the red stains the snow,
my pulse still seeping into the lawn.
but soon even my anger
will fade into the wind.
(1/22/18)
my entire heart aches yellow
that is — there is no ache at all
only the dull of this heat
that spreads across my sheets
against the rest of the day,
dry and sweet like a cinnamon death
it hurts to be this lonely
it also hurts to not feel at all
an hour looking up from under
vitreous convex vs glass concave
an hour ingesting the water inside
I refuse to swallow
and instead pretend I am
a nuclear mother
my chlorine darling
forever curdled
my mouth wet and
tenacious as a womb should be
(7/27/18)
–By Catherine P.