Fatma

The past few weeks have been slightly chaotic but, after a few weeks of school, I feel like I’m starting to settle into a routine. Going back to school was a drastic change for me (it’s weird going from waking up at 11 am every day and watching Malcolm In The Middle to waking up at 6:45 am and having to put on a school uniform and go to school). I got so used to being alone and comfortable in my room that when I came home, every day for the first week back to school, I cried whilst listening to Strange Magic by ELO. Maybe it’s because I hate the lingering feeling of summer ending- pale skies after the sun sets and the air is really still.

But now, I’ve gotten back into the routine of going to school and doing my homework. The whole social part of school has still left me confused though (my friend got invited to a party and I didn’t—she said “everyone was invited”, which made me think, “Does that mean I’m no one?” Also, it’s really hard not to daydream in classes and although I love the feeling of living out situations in my head, I really don’t want to fall behind in my classes). On Wednesday night, there was an event at my school where different colleges set up tables with information and students and parents had to go and ask about the different schools. When I was there, I saw a military table and there was a man dressed in camouflage army clothes—it reminded me of the song “Fly Or Die” by N*E*R*D. When I came home that night, I cried because everyone was so sure of what college they wanted to go to and I just felt confused. But my sister and my mum and dad made me realize that it’s ok to not be 100% sure of everything I’m going to choose in my future, I just have to make sure that those choices will make me happy.

I feel like I’ve learned a lot in the three weeks since school started and I’m not just talking about school. I feel like I’m maturing. It feels kind of sad, but I’m OK with it. ♦