Keianna

It’s ironic that the time in my life that I thought I’d have everything figured out is so full of questions. I must have been making the weirdest face as I sat in graduation rehearsal thinking about just how uncertain the events that are bound to happen after I step of that stage with my diploma in my hand. Actually, the uncertainty will start before I even get to the ceremony because how many people are coming anyways? Will everyone I invited show up? What if I walk to the back of the field when I’m done with the ceremony and no one is there? I know that’s impossible. My immediately family is coming to see the moment my entire educational career has been leading up to but there’s still a bit of worry that I can’t shake off.

I still haven’t decorated my cap and the ceremony is tomorrow. I still haven’t done a lot of things.

Also, what’s going to happen to everyone after graduation? Am I still going to have friends? I’m worried that I’ll sink back into loneliness and not seeing anyone my age for extended periods of time again. Did I peak in high school? I hope not.

Maybe I’m worrying myself too much. I do that a lot.

Up to this point I’ve been typing out my exact thoughts. It’s crazy how frantic and sad it all looks. I am excited to see where life takes me next despite all my worry. I’m very excited for grad night. I’ve only been to Disneyland once before and I didn’t get to see a lot of it. I know I’m still going to see my closest friends because we already have plans for the summer.

I wonder if my peers are going through this weird, “What the heck is going to happen,” period too. I know that I can’t be the only person on the planet feeling this way.

I think that’s the good thing about feelings. No matter how alone you’re feeling there’s so many people on earth that at least a hand full of people are also feeling that way. That’s something I’ve been taking comfort in. ♦