Thahabu

I got all As and Bs this semester. I was hoping for straight As, but the past few months were rough for me. I’m relieved I passed my classes at all. It’s funny how I’m becoming the kind of student who is dissatisfied with Bs now. I was never like that in high school and didn’t expect such high grades in my first two years of college. I think transferring to my school’s city campus really boosted my confidence, and changed my work habits for the better.

I recently reached out to a friend’s mom about depression. She said that the fact that I even called her means I want to get better, and that’s a good sign. I’m learning how to take care of myself. I’m learning how to be my own mom.

I got my wisdom teeth pulled a few days ago and made banana pudding the night before in preparation to only eat soft foods. I actually like doing nice things for myself—or maybe I shouldn’t consider it to be a special act of kindness, when if I didn’t I’d probably only be able to eat soup and mashed potatoes. (I don’t like ice cream on cold days.) Then again, if I made banana pudding for a friend to eat after that kind of surgery, they’d consider it a huge favor. So maybe I am learning how treat myself as well as I treat my friends.

The emergency mom talked about how she once failed to understand why other women would get their nails done or take themselves out on personal dates. It wasn’t until her college roommate told her that she could do those things too, that she deserved to treat herself sometimes, that she realized what self-care was. I came out of our conversation feeling less alone. ♦