Thahabu

This Mother’s Day I stayed in bed until 12PM, then spent 30 minutes mindlessly scrolling through my phone. I got up to deep condition my hair, wrapped a plastic bag around my head, and lay down again. I thought about the woman I’m becoming, and if my mom would like her…whether I liked her. I like her. Later, I checked my school’s app to see if my grades had been uploaded. So far, I have a B in Mixed Media. I’m still waiting on the rest. My sister said she’s proud of me.

I finished my finals on Friday and got my first full eight hours of sleep since they began. The lack of rest had definitely changed my mood. Any interaction with a new person who wanted me to think deeply about whatever they had to say irritated the hell out of me. I’ve been ignoring people’s phone calls, it’s too much for me right now. I made sure to tell certain friends, so that they wouldn’t take it personally.

This Mother’s Day I thought about the day after last Mother’s Day. I was sitting in the library when a girl I had befriended the week before approached me, and was kind enough to ask, “How was your Mothers Day? That must’ve been hard for you.” It was the first time anyone asked me about about the holiday in that manner. She wasn’t condescending, or just curious about what I do on the day, she was genuinely concerned about how I was doing emotionally. She didn’t tell me how to feel, or pretend that it didn’t affect me at all. Looking back now, I am so thankful for her kindness and understanding. ♦