Simone

The election left me feeling drained, and really stupid. I thought for a long time it was because I was blindsided by the results, or just numb from having exhausted all my thoughts and energy on worry and fear. Truthfully, I’m embarrassed to admit this. Everyone around me seems to have emerged from November 8th a more conscious and outspoken being, willing and able to fight back. I’m just tired. I feel useless, and mostly, uninformed.

I didn’t think I had a valid reason to be feeling this way until a discussion in history class earlier today. Most of my teacher’s moments of wisdom are brought on by tangential rants, and today’s occurrence certainly made that evident. Today’s lecture responded to a troll-y question from some idiot in the back about “fake news.”

My teacher explained that while fake news does exist, most of the news we read is not fake. Obvious. But the news we read is dumbed down and pointed. And so maybe our real news is fake journalism. Social media and the internet enable publishers to produce content at lightning speeds with greater access to the public. The idea of efficiency has become one of oversimplification and abbreviation. There is so much to comprehend, and we need to know it all, so we do, but only minimally. We need to be engaged in it all, so we are, but only by speculation. Access makes speculation seem like fact.

There’s benefit to having news a click of a button away. Ideally, it would give equality to political awareness. But because we are human creatures incapable of focus, operating devices that allow us to indulge in the escapism of Subway Surfers and internet porn, it doesn’t. It gives us enough to form a visceral opinion. We don’t learn.

I know the words email and Benghazi and tax return, but I don’t understand the nuance of each idea. My political debates turn into fundamental questions of larger social issues and moral standing. My opinions of those opposed to me are as extreme as they are unfounded. I get all my news from where everyone else I know gets all their news. I read bylines of articles on Facebook for soundbites I repeat them through the day, entering political conversations that discuss mere basics, and delve into feelings.

There is so intellectual nuance. Maybe there doesn’t need to be. I do feel the people running this country hold a purely emotional hatred for people of my kind. But I’d like to understand their policies and quotes and scandals past bulleted outlines. Unlike my emotions, theirs have practical application,

I keep thinking back to the Women’s March for some reason. It was so nice, but nice like I was listening to a Spice Girls song. I felt supported and empowered, and at time was given goosebumps by the stimulation I was surrounded by, but everything felt oversimplified. In the moment, that was okay. It was actually perfect. It was important to have a day where targeted groups asserted the simple idea that we too were people deserving of decency and respect—but the movement, at least on the part of my community, hasn’t seemed to propel past that point.

I feel mentally blocked. I feel belittled by my sources of information. I feel hopeless. ♦