Cammy

I’ve been pretty hard on myself for a while now and not even for the right things, like achieving my goals or being a better person. It’s my weight. I’m 5’4” and 120 pounds, which is fine. I shouldn’t be worried about anything, but I’m so worried that I’m gonna have round two with my eating disorder.

People don’t understand how disappointed I can be in myself after I eat and my stomach sticks out a little too far, even though that’s natural when eating. I’ve always had a bad habit of dressing in oversized clothes to cover up any natural shape in my body. On hot days when I have to take my jacket off, I feel like everyone’s looking at my arms or stomach. A couple of weeks ago, my friends pointed out that my tummy folds over just like everyone else’s and I got really mad at myself. It’s stuck with me since then. Every day I’m so worried about how I look to everyone else. I wish I could stop, I wish I could tell myself that it’s all in my head. I know it’s all in my head, that’s why it’s so hard to stop thinking about it. I think need to start being more active, but I don’t want to overwork myself. I feel stuck. ♦