Keianna

I sometimes ask the universe for reassurance. If I’m really stressed or unsure about something I will mentally ask for a sign that what I’m worried about will work out. With my constant anxiety, I feel myself doing this very often. I know that I have this internal plea with the world at least five times a week.

This is tricky because almost anything can be interpreted as a sign. Maybe when I see the number 421 multiple times throughout the day there’s something pulling my gaze that way, or maybe it’s me wanting my lucky number to be my sign. Who’s to say that seeing a motivational quote while scrolling through Instagram isn’t a sign? It sure looks like one to me.

For most people, realizing that these events might be coincidences would make them simply stop looking for them. Well, as a person who believes wholeheartedly in not doing what most people do, I do not take this approach. Nope. Instead I look for two back-to-back signs. A little double reassurance never hurt anyone, right? What’s that little saying again? Oh right, “better safe then sorry.”

I’m laughing writing this because I know I sound ridiculous. I’m sorry but I can’t help it. This is something I feel I have to do to keep from worrying. I hope that soon I’ll find something healthier to do.

Sometimes, I ignore everything that I assume is a sign. This has everything to do with the fact that I used to procrastinate on every task I needed to get done, without fail. I might be using this as a way to say that I need to start doing what I want. That’s a little bit disappointing, because I’d like to think I have enough interest in everything that I do to want to put all my interest in it.

Maybe it’s that my fear of being judged is overshadowing my desire to create things. I’m not sure, but it’s something to contemplate and to ask the universe about. ♦