Cammy

I’ve been riding a good streak for a while, and now everything is catching up with me. When I’d get upset in the past, I would sit and wallow in everything bad. As I get older, I’m understanding that I can’t always be happy; life is gonna catch up with me. That doesn’t really bother me at all, but it’s gotten me thinking, When will I ever take anything seriously in life? I’m the first to say “I don’t care” or “I’ll do it later,” and it’s frustrating! But even as I sit here thinking this, I’m still sure I’ll get past it. I don’t know where I got this optimism from, and I think is gonna catch up to me when I’m 30 and have a desk job and only make enough to cover rent. I don’t ever want to be like that, but I’m my own worst enemy. I know how to handle everything but myself. I get so obsessed with the bigger picture that I don’t think about MY big picture. I feel like I’m being too hard on myself and I don’t want to break my own spirit. Is it self-destructive to let myself say things like this? I have way too much going on in my head, and now I have more to worry about. I wish I had time to solve one problem before another is hurled at me. ♦