Fatma

Is it weird that my life is full of fantasies and imaginary scenarios? I’m always imagining scenarios in which I meet my favourite musicians and skaters. At first, I did this only when I couldn’t fall asleep at night, to help me ease into the world of dreams. But it’s starting to take over my life. I can be listening to a song alone in my bedroom, but in my head, I’m surrounded by loads of people who have the same interests as me. I doubt it’s a lack of friends causing me to daydream—I have gained acquaintances at school, whom I am fond of—but maybe it’s do do with living kind of far away from school, and not having anyone to hang out with outside of school. I could take a bus, but I hate going on public transport by myself, and when I stay home I feel dazed and confused (I tried so hard not to make any puns!).

I don’t think daydreaming about being interviewed by Jimmy Fallon is that cool. I’m such a loser.

Also, a side note: What is love? I feel like a 40-year-old romance novelist made it up. I’m probably too young to understand, like most of the other wonders of life (driving and watching R-rated movies at the cinema—I hate that young people are rarely taken seriously. It’s as though adults think we’re unable to have valid ideas without their help). I adore the story of Romeo and Juliet, but I don’t know if that kind of (unhealthy) infatuation with someone is even possible. I can’t stick to eating the same type of cereal for two months in a row, so I don’t know if I would be willing to die for my theoretical lover. I guess love must be complicated. I think I’m afraid to fall in love because I’ll probably fall in too deep (sorry for the Sum 41 pun, but I’m on a roll) and in return, love someone who feels claustrophobic and slightly uncomfortable.

I should focus on other things until I can comprehend my opinion on love. Until then, I guess I’ll be sitting in a cafe, in fair Verona, with a small copy of Shakespeare’s sonnets in one hand and a caramel frappuccino in the other. I like the sound of it already. ♦