It’s rare but it’s beautiful when someone can make a career out of doing what is the truth for them. Which is actually quite depressing, but you know how the world is.

[Laughs]

Yeah, that old thing. Can you summarize your journey to this lovely paradise where you do what you love?

I started stand-up when I was 19. My sister died when I was 17, which was when I decided that I didn’t want to go to college or do any military stuff. I was commuting from Temecula, [California,] to L.A. every day to hit up open mics or shows—all while working my part-time job at the mall. Once I turned 21, I was, like, $10,000 in debt, and I was like, “I’m gonna move out anyway and let’s see how it goes.” And it was really hard! My phone got shut off every other week. I would have to borrow money from my younger brother to pay rent sometimes. I was working four part-time jobs at one point and still making YouTube videos on the side. It took about three to four years before I was making enough to quit my day job and put all my focus into [the videos]. I do understand how people who work full-time office jobs get burnt out and aren’t able to do [art]. You’re at your day job for eight hours, then you go home and the last thing you want to do is work some more on your art. It’s very draining. To keep that up consistently over the years is just a lot to ask of a person. I was very lucky to have been dating someone who was wealthy enough to see how hard I was working and say, “Just focus on creating. I got you, I believe in you.” I was able to quit all my day jobs, and used the little bit of money from YouTube to keep me afloat. He took care of the rest, and I fully dove into the creative stuff.

Even now, it’s like—I have this big following, then it becomes a game of “Can I keep this following?” How much of myself can I put out there? Do I have an opinion left on anything after the 400 videos I’ve made? It does become a different ballgame once you get up there. How do I keep this? I don’t want to lose this—this could go away at any moment. This job didn’t exist five years ago. You know, I just bought my first house. I have a home now. But I also have a mortgage, so I need to make sure I make money no matter what. It does put you in a frightening position where you wonder, Am I ever going to feel secure in my job? Because this is art. It is entertainment, and we all know how that whole rollercoaster goes. You could be hot one day and overused the next. So we’ll see.

You do a good job, though.

Thank you!

I mean, I think that rollercoaster is why I’m into art, because at least it’s exciting?

[Laughs] Yes!

Looking at your millions of fans, what do you think has contributed most to your popularity?

My biggest video—the one that got me the most traction—was called “How to Put On Your Face,” which was a parody of makeup tutorials where I was really discussing inner beauty more than outer beauty. When I put on my eyeshadow, I’d say stuff like “Don’t forget your optimism for the day!” It’s weird, because that was one of the first ideas I ever had, and I didn’t do it for, like, four years. I was like, “This is stupid.” Until one day, when I literally had no other ideas so I was like, “I’ll just do it.” Of course it’s my most-viewed video. I think that my content is kind of summarized by that video: it’s inspirational and optimistic, and it highlights something that may be a little funny—satirical stuff. And I think the inner beauty tutorial resonated with a lot of people because it was simple. As women, we get caught up in things like, “What glasses are going to look best for my face shape?” And, “Oh, my God, if I put on my lip liner a certain way, will my face meet the guidelines for the golden ratio?”

It’s easy to become obsessed with that, and especially when you’re on camera—you are your own worst critic. I think that was something a lot of people could relate to in their own weird way, because society’s pressures on women to be beautiful are ridiculous.

Whenever I read an article about a YouTuber, it’s titled something like “The ___ Guru,” or something along those lines. If you were a guru, what would you be a guru of?

I guess I would say life coach—a life coach guru? When I make something, I am always wondering, “What is someone gonna learn from this?” When I do comedy shows, a lot of people are always telling me in the meet-and-greets afterward that they miss my advice videos, and I’m like “I have no more advice to give!” I would say that is what people have responded to the most, and have said of me “I look at you as like my older sister on the internet!” and stuff like that. I’m like, “OK, I’ll accept that brand!”

Speaking of brand—when you gain popularity, brands and sponsors are going to look at you and want to become involved. Have you encountered an internal conflict about “selling out”?

I have a video about it.

Ha ha, duuude.

Yeah, it’s called “Why I’m A Sell-Out.” There’s only one time I have been conflicted because I heard something negative about the brand I was working with, but for the most part, no. I have come to my peace with it, where I’ll try to make ads as entertaining as possible and at the end of a video, so you can click away whenever you want. Ultimately, it’s like me being in a commercial. If someone sees me in a commercial, they are so excited and happy about it, so why is it any different? It’s how I pay my bills! As much as I love making YouTube content, the ad revenue on YouTube is so small. YouTube only gives you 45 percent, and the ad revenue dollars are tanking continuously. So it’s like—you can watch this video for free or you have an ad at the end you can click away from. Luckily, this is now my full-time job. I’ll try to make it as entertaining as I can for you, but you’re under no obligation to watch it. And [an ad] will just be me being, like, “Accept the fact that this is who I am as a person and this is my job and I need to make money.” And people have been very responsive to it. There are a lot of people who are upset now when some of my videos aren’t branded, because they love it when I do ads. Which is a good place to be.

It’s amazing how you are confident within that.

It’s such a concept that is completely overrated…or underrated? No one wants to be a starving artist. There’s a fake glamour that we have all associated with being the martyr. It’s like, no! Nobody wants to do that! We all want to pay our bills and live comfortably and do what we love to do, eat out with our friends. Yeah, I’m over that whole bit.

Will you ever look into making a full-length feature movie?

Anything scripted, really, is up my alley. Doing Miss 2059 is rewarding because with YouTube, it’s so guerilla. For the longest time, it was me, by myself, in my house, with a camera, using a vacuum cleaner to do focus. It’s isolating, and it’s lonely. Being able to do a series with other people around is just so much more fun. I love having just one or two jobs on set instead of doing every job, because I’m not an expert in every job. Scripted content, I think, is where it’s at. We’re in the golden age of TV. Everyone is making a series. You have people like go90, with Verizon’s backing, putting all this money into creators. It’s a beautiful time to be making stuff! Everyone wants to get in on the action. And yeah—I love scripted [TV and movies], I love acting. Much more than anything else. I would definitely love to do more features.

Could you sum up your journey—your story so far—in a sentence?

I would say, “Beautiful, but still learning”.

Very good.

Well, thank you! Did I win the sentence game?

Hmm…you get 98 percent.

I’ll take it, that’s an A! ♦

This piece was generously sponsored by New Form Digital. The content was produced by Rookie.