Scorpio

scorpio1Amelia’s horoscope: Your keyword for this new moon is dare. Lady Luna is in your ninth house of adventure, so you’re being called to travel into uncharted territory. When you approach it as a fun challenge, you don’t get weighed down in unnecessary existential crises. Go you!

Dylan’s advice: Scorpio, you’re already such an adventure dog, it would stun me if you were NOT going to jump off that high dive, hop in that shopping cart, streak through the neighbor’s sprinkler, shoot that firework from your buttcrack—JUST KIDDING DON’T DO THAT, THAT’S NEVER BEEN FUNNY, JUST EXTREMELY DANGEROUS AND DISTURBING. In any case—today is an auspicious case to choose dare over truth. Adventure awaits. Get outside and chase it with a resounding chorus of yes’s and why nots, and maybe some sparklers.